Stuck in the Middle with You

"Look, tell the little bitch to stop biting your nipples...hold on..." Rebecca said, on the phone with her sister, Sarah, who was a new mother. For some reason her son would not stop biting at her tits and she kept complaining to Rebecca. Rebecca loved her sister but get his like some teething toys or whatever, you know. Just as Rebecca was talking, she heard a knock at her door. "Someone's knocking at the door. I'm the fucking counselor I have to be there for these little bottomfeeders...just give him the bottle and put him back on your boobs in about an hour. Love you too, bye." Rebecca told her sister, quickly before letting whoever it was come in. Clearing her throat and placing an apple on her desk, Rebecca smiled as nicely as she could. "Come in!" She said in her teacher's voice.

tag: declan yo

Declan knocked particularly loudly on Ms. Gelb's door. He had been sent to the guidance office to "get an attitude check." Apparently making repeated sexual advances on a teacher is not considered acceptable at this school.

He heard Ms. Gelb call to come in and he gladly waltzed right in. He took a seat and propped his long legs up on her desk, crossing them at the ankles. "Hey, Ms. G," he said, noticing a rather ripe looking apple sitting on her desk. "I know you only put that there just to make it look like you care about your lowly job and the vermin known as the student body, so if you don't mind..." he swiped the apple of her desk and sunk his teeth into it.

Declan wasn't surprised when he heard Rebecca - yes, they were on a first name basis, but he didn't like to call her by her first name while they were at school - shut the door behind him. He actually strained his ears to see if he could hear the lock click, too. But he didn't, and disappointment briefly flashed over his features.

His eyes went slightly wide in mild surprise at her sudden assertive behavior. Usually he had to get her warmed up to his typical pompous attitude. Today seemed to be a bit different. He stood up slowly, towering over her shorter frame with a devious smirk. "Demanding, are we?"

Declan didn't respond to Rebecca's first comment regarding his smell. Yes, it was Abercrombie & Fitch cologne. Yes, that was a rather basic move on his part. But guess what - Declan didn't give two shits because it smelled godly and it attracted the ladies every single time.

When Rebecca held her hand up and scolded him, he knew her words didn't hold any truth. The only thing she would be doing to him with that hand were things too inappropriate to happen in any normal high school. He flashed her a devious smile and wrapped his hand tightly around her wrist, catching it in midair.

"Don't be like that," he said lowly. "And you know I'm not a child. Haven't I proved that to you countless times?"

Declan rolled his eyes and plopped back down into the chair. "Why do you think?" he snorted and resumed eating the apple he had previously taken without permission. "I need an attitude check, apparently," he said with his mouth full.

"Ms. Bentley said it's 'rude and improper' to make inappropriate comments towards a staff member or some shit. I don't even know. YOU don't seem to mind, do you? I mean, I make them to you all the time and it usually ends up with you bent over your desk ENCOURAGING me to make more." He looked up at Rebecca for some type of response.

Declan raised an eyebrow at her. "God, you are one bitchy guidance counselor. Is this what they pay you for?" He rolled his eyes.

At her mention of an attitude check he snorted rather unattractively. "Yeah? And how's that gonna happen?" he asked incredulously, looking at her with mild amusement.

"Can't argue there," he said in response to Rebecca's snarky comment.

After Rebecca's little rant, Declan thought her words through carefully, but finally decided he couldn't do any of those things.

"Well, you see, there's the problem. I've already 'accidentally' left a bag of weed brownies on top of her desk one day, because my friend Roman thought it'd be funny to see what would happen when the janitor found them. But you know me, I get blamed for everything because somebody decided that was okay, so that one went on my record instead of Roman's. As well as the time I was caught in the girl's bathroom with Kelly Frost - you know her, don't you? - doing... well, i'm sure you already know what we were doing. And since these have all been recent occurrences, I've only got one more chance until expulsion. Which, now that I think about it, wouldn't be so bad..."

Declan accepted Rebecca's high-five and mentally applauded her for being such a cool as fuck guidance counselor.

When she made a 360 and went back to scolding him, he couldn't decide if it was because she was trying to convince herself that her degree is psychology was actually worth something or if she was genuinely disappointed in his behavior. He highly doubted the latter.

"No, I don't particularly like whips. I more enjoy the chains and handcuff scenarios. Although... I am open to trying new things, if you're ever interested," he suggested, sending her a cheeky smile and a wink.

Declan's mouth fell open at her unexpectedly rude (although entirely true) comment. And suddenly all the little things that he had picked up on about Ms. Rebecca Gelb were floating to the forefront of his mind and they just had to be spoken.

"Well, first of all, I am not dumb. I sell baked drugs for a living and I probably make more money than you do with your pitiful teacher's grade salary. Second of all, you're right - I am a horny ass motherfucker. So I don't really have anything to say there. BUT THIRD OF ALL, my eyes are open. And all I see is the fact that you are a sad, lonely twenty-something woman who hates her job and probably her life and I'm willing to bet you wake up every morning wishing you hadn't woken up at all. And I know for a fact that you admire how much balls I have and you wish that you could be enough of a bad bitch to do half the shit I do. So you know what, just stop lying to yourself. It's annoying. Can I go now? Because, to be honest, you really were no great help. My attitude is now worse than it was before."

"I appreciate the fact that you're trying to be painfully honest with me. But I must let you know that I don't care. I'm sorry, but I say what I want when I want to say it. I can't help it that I'm naturally attracted to half the female population that either attend or work at this school. Maybe if God hadn't given me a dick then that wouldn't be an issue. But he did so that's that," Declain said smoothly, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to change his ways. It was a matter of time until he got suspended or expelled. Although, for the sake of Rebecca's feelings (which he felt bad about probably hurting with his unintentionally mean rant), he decided to humor her and say he would try his best.

He quirked a brow when she began to write something down on a sticky note. His eyes skimmed the paper quickly and a small smile toyed at the corners of his lips. She may not be a bad bitch, but at least she's an almost bad bitch. Almost.

"Alright, deal," he said, pocketing the note. He was unsure if it was his queue to leave yet or not, so he rose from his seat awkwardly. "Guess that's all then, yeah?"