Alcohol & Hardly Working

Subject: Alcohol & Hardly Working 27/12/13, 02:52 am

"Yeah, I told him not to stop til I was on the floor having a seizure from that clima...yeah, I slept alone that night. Sorry, Sarah, I have to g...he's still biting on your tits? I told you, put some teething rings in his mouth and try again in an hour! Alright, love you, bye!" Rebecca said to her sister, hanging up the phone and sitting at her desk. She didn't have anything scheduled at the moment so she just sat at her desk really bored, hoping someone would walk in and ask for some impossible advice she could never take seriously. Maybe she could get away with getting drunk today.

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Lulu had been sent to the principal's office again. This time for trying to set her desk on fire. They'd been reading about the American Indian dances that had called forth rain, and eager to add to the lesson, she'd tried to show them her own. She called it the Don't Call Me a Whore or I'll Burn You Alive And Eat Your Heart dance, and fortunately for her, pigtail wearing Nancy had opened her Botox lips just in time to volunteer to be the sacrifice.
Principal Bacardi was nowhere to be found though, so the secretaries had redirected her to Ms.Gelb's. Reaching the door, she decided today was not a day to practice the common act of knocking, and she simply walked in and took a seat.
"I was sent here to figure out my options for my future child." Lulu rubbed her belly lovingly, before pulling out a joint and lighting up.

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 27/12/13, 04:24 am

Rebecca sat a her desk, wondering what he could do to quench this boredom she had. Rebecca could always be a fun person but when she was bored she was kind of a bitch. Well as much of a bitch as anyone named Rebecca fucking Gelb could be. Suddenly, Rebecca heard someone come in her office. To be honest she was hoping it was Principal Bacardi. Lord knows how many times she's fantasized about him ripping her girdle off and having his was with her. Alas it was a student.

As soon as the girl sat down and fessed up to being preggers, she immediately got up and closed the door when she saw the joint. When she walked back over she sat on her desk and took the joint from her. "First off, props for getting the kid started on the natural herbs from the big guy this early."She said to lulu, taking a hit and forgetting the weed wasn't hers for a second. "Second, why don't you tell me what your plans are for your future with your baby before I give you any options."

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Lulu often wondered how it was that Rebecca Gelb had been given a job that most people considered pretty darn important. Then she always remembered this school was a fucking zoo and thanked Smaug in her prayers for such a wonderful staff. Perhaps, she too could be a counselor one day if her priestess of the damned/stripping career didn't take off.
As Ms.Gelb got up to shut the door, Lulu was almost sure she was going to just leave. However that was the not the case and upon returning to her desk, she swiped the joint. Lulu curtsied, or did her best since she was ya know, sitting and all. Tapping a finger against her chin, she pretended to think long and hard on the question before shrugging, stealing the joint back and taking as many strong huffs and puffs as she could before passing it back and blowing out some rings.
"Ehh you know, just let it do it's own thing. I don't think it's father will want much to do with it, since he's busy running a school and all. I was thinking about naming it Brandi if it's a girl or maybe CaptainMorgan if it's a boy." She nodded, patting her belly. "I hope it's a girl, because Brandi Bacardi sounds pretty badass."

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 28/12/13, 03:14 pm

Rebecca could actually not explain how fast her heart sank once she heard the kids father was busy running a school. It couldn't be? Nope, because if so Rebecca would probably end up going to jail charged with two first degree murders. And one rape charge. Don't ask. But of course, Rebecca had to hear the full story. Maybe she got pregnant by the principal over at Ridgeway. He was a nasty whore. Twitching, she regained herself. "CaptainMorgan is a lovely name." Rebecca clenched.

As soon as Rebecca heard the words Bacardi, she could feel the camera zoom into her shocked face. Instead of opening the door so she wouldn't end up strangle the little whore right there, she kept the door closed and decided to remain proffesional for the first time in her miserable life. When she swiped the joint back and took a few hits, it made it quite easier. "...Are you telling me you go impregnated by our principal? Because that's a serious allegation." She said. Holding back the beast that was trying to come out.

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Lulu wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but it was curing her boredom fast, so she was determined to keep it up. Pulling out a pocket knife, she began to carve away at the edge of the desk, taking momentary breaks just to hold a lighter near enough to singe the carved markings. She swore there was some sort of mood change in the air, and glanced up at the counselor for a mere second.
The crazy lady seemed a little more sane than usual, and Lulu simply flashed a smile at the name compliment. She nodded, still keeping her eyes on the carving at hand. "Yeah, he came to me one night, with a bouquet of roses, a bottle of overpriced wine, and some chocolates. He said that I must be the one to bear his children." Lulu shrugged then sat back, admiring her work. She returned the knife to her pocket and folded her arms across her chest. "Quite frankly, I think I will abort the child and keep the fetus in a jar. What say you? I mean, I can still name a fetus and push it around in a stroller. Then I don't have to worry about like ending up on Teen Mom or getting saggy tits from breastfeeding."

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 30/12/13, 01:57 am

Rebecca stared at the knife Lulu had taken out and her eye began to twitch. So many scenerios were beginning to play in her head, almost all of them ending up with Lulu dead on the ground with her riding Bacardi like the wind, but of course she couldn't do that because it was illegal. I mean, sinful. And illegal. "You have six seconds to take that knife off my desk before I shove it so far down your throat you'll need a stick of butter to shit it out." She told her, now beginning to get mad. How could anyone think of aborting Bacardi's baby? It was fucking Bacardi. Those eyes. Oh my God the outline of his dick when he wheres those tight ass slacks. Yass bew, holla for a dollar.

"Your demon sinning ass is gonna damn well get saggy ass milky tits with that kind of talk!" Rebecca told her, taking a few more hits from the joint, hoping it would calm her down. Getting up, she begun to pace around the room. "Okay, here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna fuck Bacardi tonight, and I mean ride him like a marry go round. You're going to buy me a pregnancy pad or whatever the fuck that bitch used to fake out Will on Glee or I'll make sure all your teachers fail you in all your classes and your whore mother disowns you and in nine months that baby you pop out of your demon esque vagina will be all motherfucking mine. You hear me? MINE." She said, on the ground, clawing at the carpets trying to realize how she got here.

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Lulu decided people didn't give Bec here enough credit. Like what other adult would listen to this and stay so calm? Well apparently not Bec here. Lu was taken aback by the threat involving her knife, and was barely recovering from it when Ms.Gelb called her a sinner. It actually was a little bit horrifying, as Ms.Gelb was pretty much the person people had bets and shit on because she was so difficult to piss off. "Wha-"
She couldn't even get a word in before crazy bitch here broke out into a speech. Did she really think she could threaten her? DID THIS BITCH NOT KNOW WHO SHE WAS SPEAKING TO. Lulu Reedus. THE Lulu Reedus. Spawn of Satan. Princess of the Underworld. Heiress of Hell. Somehow Ms.Gelb had ended up on the carpet, and Lulu seriously considered stabbing her in the back. Literally. Instead, she stayed calm. Well sort of calm.
Stabbing her knife into the middle of the desk, she climbed onto it and pulled it out and held it at her stomach. "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THREATENING ME RIGHT NOW!?" Lifting her shirt, she began lightly prodding her belly with the tip of the blade. "I think you should try again, and fast." Lulu smiled maniacally. "Or else, you're going to have a dead and pregnant teenage girl on your desk. I WONDER HOW MR.BACARDI WOULD FEEL ABOUT HIS DEAD CHILD BEING FOUND IN YOUR OFFICE?"

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 30/12/13, 03:47 am

Rebecca gasped and nearly popped a molly and started sweating when she saw what Lulu was about to do. She couldn't bare the thought of Bacardi's dead baby on the table and him blaming her. I mean, having a girl kill herself on her desk. Because...that would be terrible. "Okay. I'm so sorry." She said, slowly approaching. "What do you want? Money? A car? A photodocked gifof Bicardi fisting me and me riding him like a ride at Disney land? OR DEATH, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTCH" She yelled, wacking the preggo whore and throwing and tackling the bitch out the window.

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Lulu was too quick to think everything was alright. This Ms.Gelb was a pretty good actress, if she were to say so herself. She had Lulu fooled for a second too long. Smiling triumphantly, she was about to say "just kidding" when the older woman FUCKING SPEARED HER THROUGH THE WINDOW. Like did she not realize that that could possibly harm the baby. Lulu held onto the psycho as they landed on the ground outside. This was war. Crawling away for dear life, she looked for her knife, but it was nowhere to be found. "FINE!" Picking up a shard of glass, she squeezed it so tight, her hand started gushing red. "YOU'LL NEVER SLEEP WITH BACARDI YOU LOCO BITCH!" Lulu laughed, pointing the glass at her. "Better just change the name on my papers to Lulu Bacardi."

omg this is so short im sorry

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 30/12/13, 04:21 am

As they went through the window, this definitely looked a lot easier in the movies, thank Jesus they were just on the first floor. Rebecca crawl as she saw Lulu crawl and was ready to smack a bitch. Ain't nobody was gonna fuck with her man, and get pregnant by her man without dying. And this bitch was about to die. "I DON'T WANNA SLEEP WITH HIM , I WANT HIM TO FUCK ME SO HARD MY I GROW ANOTHER HEAD." Rebecca thought she reached her boiling point but when she heard the words Lulu Bacardi she threw her glasses off and took off her left heel. She picked a twig up off the ground and yelled like a mother fucking Cigarette Store Indian. "AYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She yelled as she charged into battle.

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Never in a million years did Lulu think Ms.Gelb could be a neurotic psychopath. Just kidding, it was always the seemingly innocent ones. Damn though. All those repressed sexual urges could be dangerous.
Lulu was glad they were at least out of her office now, so like there were some witnesses just in case. For once Lulu was fearing for her life. Like who knew trying to set her desk and a student on fire would have this sort of punishment. She raised her eyebrows as MsGelb verbalized her fantasies for pretty much the entire neighbourhood to hear before breaking out into some sort of war call. It would have been funny if this psycho bitch wasn't targeting her. Lulu picked up another, longer piece of glass and jabbed it in the counselor's direction. Dropping the smaller piece, she began chucking rocks at her, while trying to put some distance between the two of them.
Lulu was aware that she was at a disadvantage here. Like damn, if she survived this, this psycho was going to hear from her lawyer. Well if she even survived this. Lulu was pretty determined to end her miserable life right here and now. "NOT ONLY WILL THAT NEVER HAPPEN, BUT HE'S GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE PUT AWAY FOR LIFE AFTER HE HEARS ABOUT THIS." Lu couldn't wait until Ms.Gelb figured out she wasn't even preggo. Like damn, Lulu couldn't remember ever even talking to Bacardi, let alone, doing the frick frack with him.

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 30/12/13, 02:32 pm

Rebecca stopped as she saw Lulu with the glass, this wouldn't end well for either of them if she had stabbed her with the glass. Instead of stabbing her with the heal, Rebecca heaved it at the little slut-demon's head and lunged in her direction, putting her face into the dirt, where she made sure there was no glass (<3). "EAT DIRT, YOU UGLY LITTLE PIGLET." She yelled.

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Lulu was for sure positive this crazy bitch was going to murder her with that cheap ass knock off heel. Instead, she found herself eating and inhaling dirt. At first she tried to fight back, then finally went limp before doing like some crazy ass extreme push up and backwards headbutting the old lady. "I DON'T THINK SO!" Picking up a small stick, she began beating the woman with it, swinging extra hard cause this stick was skinnier than her wrist. Damn america.

Subject: Re: Alcohol & Hardly Working 05/01/14, 02:41 am

"AGH." Rebecca yelled as she was butted and ended up on the ground and being attacked by a stick. Who the hell did this skank this she was coming into her house and fucking her man? Well, future man. Ugh. So. Sexy. Using Bacardi as an excuse to get strong again, her eyes opened with fire. "WHORES. DONT. THINK." She yelled, kicked her in the crotch and headbutting the bitch in the stomach. "U.S.A.U.S.A.U.S.A." She yelled, picking up her stuck and using her own weapon against her. "WHORES. DONT. DESERVE. FACES."

Posts : 18 Money : 24 Popularity : 2 Join date : 2013-12-25

This loco nerdy looking katy perry bitch ass motherfucker was like able to recharge or something. Probably steroids, probably. Just when Lulu thought she had the upperhand, Gelbycakes here got right back up, crazier than before. Foot contacted with vagina, and Lulu fell to the ground, but not before getting headbutted in the stomach. She wanted to start chanting Mexico, but the pain was too much, and soon she was on the receiving end of the stick.
"BACARDI WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU!" She screamed in an desperate attempt to distract this crazy old lady. It probably wouldn't work long though, cause Lu would probably get mad all over again and screw it up for herself. But maybe she could buy herself enough time to run away.

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